Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
