i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
