i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
