I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
