Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
