i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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