we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
