Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
