but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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