My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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