Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
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