And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
