he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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