I seem to have left my pride at pride
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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