Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
