I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
