Banned from zoo.
Again?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
