if we break up, who will get the dealer?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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