R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
