My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
