Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
