I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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