Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
