You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
