I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
