That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Randomize
