So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
