I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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