Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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