the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
