Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
