I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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