I cannot find my penis.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
