Im at strip club and am horny
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
