Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
