just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
