Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
