Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
