I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
