I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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