And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
