You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
