It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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