found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
