he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
