Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
