If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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