i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
