he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We left an ass print on the piano.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
