Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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